So this is a blog, huh?

I guess I've had blogs before. Everything from myspace to facebook to livejournal back in the day. I'm sure I'll be over this in a matter of months too. Or maybe I'll be discovered for the mediocre writer I truly am and get offered a book deal, negating all financial worries I've been losing sleep over.

Here's my problem du jour.:I live down the street from my ex who I'm realizing, many months too late, I'm still in love with. Needless to say my first plan is to move. I have to drive past his house to get to mine, and even if I'm not looking for it, it's hard to miss when his lifted Silverado is there, or worse yet, when it isn't there. I get that I come off as a stalker- for the record, I'd be happy to never see him or the black beauty ever again. To say it's difficult to get him off my mind when I see him every day is along the lines of saying that Tucker Max enjoys sex.

Living down the street from Billy was the farthest thing from a problem until we decided to be friends and go to lunch. So here's my advice to anyone who wants to be friends with anyone who they still have feelings for/ are attracted to/ miss in any way, shape or form: run away. No really. They might as well have one or more of the forms of hepatitis. Going to lunch was great until we realized we still had the chemistry. And could still finish each others sentences. Awesome. A week later I was lying in bed around two in the morning when I heard my name being yelled in my front yard. Billy, the ever romantic, had killed off a bottle of southern comfort (to himself) and wanted to say hi. Dear lord I have got to move. We eventually got together to talk and he dropped the mother of all bombshells on me. Told me I'm the love of his life and he plans on spending the rest of said life with me... just not right now. I'd be lying to say this doesn't bother me, but I am much prouder than to wait around for one idiot to realize what he's throwing away. I wrote him a letter; poured my heart and soul into actually, and showed it to a few friends. One even got teary-eyed and told me he wished that letter were written for him. Don't we all Kev. Don't we all. Billy on the other hand, true to his nature, had the audacity to get mad at me for not being patient enough. To clarify, he doesn't want to be together until his life is set straight, including making sure that his new business is off the ground and running. Last time I checked that kind of thing takes years. Good call there, love.